What The ...THING ! First Week

By Gaurav Parab

The idea was to ease into my doing something new every week plan. So, I started with what I thought is a simple thing. An idea, which kept coming back to me

Language. My language, to be precise.

A recent incident of a friend accidentally swearing in front of the wrong person came to my mind. He did not intend to, but the wrong word just came out. It may have been a passing incident, but I was interested. So, I stepped back and observed my friends and myself for a couple of hours.

MBAs swear a lot. A lot.

I was taken back. Swearing is not bad. I am not passing judgment here. But the extent of it is surprising. Surprising as to how our language has come to contain words that we normally avoid in front of someone with a bank balance – like your father or that recruiter.

In my defense, I realized that I had done fairly well in communicating with different audiences. I have been generally correct with my words. In fact, this is remarkable to a certain extent since I studied for some years in Rashtriya Military School, Belgaum (Motto: If it is not a swear word, we will not say it) and later joined a leading Business School (Motto: If it is not jargon, we will not say it)

But as I kept silent and observed my friends, I realized that every time I decided to contribute to the conversation, swear words would magically enter sentences - like employee count in a Satyam balance sheet. I was shocked, and I was amused. I could not figure how this change happened. Or when it did! The first time I ever heard someone swear was probably when as a child I saw Dharmendar scream Kutte Kamine as he jumped on to his horse from a two storied building.

I was surprised. The animal in question was a horse.

The Thing I Did This Week

So, my new thing for the week started was decided. I was not going to swear for a week. An entire week.

On the first day, I was surprised to the point of being astonished that what seemed like a simple exercise takes a lot of self control. It was more difficult than I thought it would be. Especially, during exam time. There are millions of people, concepts and Powerpoint presentations taunting you to rip out a bunch of good old select words. Select words which capture and describe your struggle against academics better than a million pictures.

The magnitude of how language changes from a hostel room to a classroom sunk in and I discovered that friends, even those normally associated with a squeaky clean Scotch Brite image swear a lot. It is just that we don’t realize something so obvious.

Every time someone swore in front of me – I said “gali nahin”. By the second day, I realized that I said “Gali nahin” every second sentence. I had to. For every second sentence has a gali. Don’t believe me? Try observing yourself. Seriously do.

Challenges

I admit that there were close calls. Like when I went out to the city, and a motorcycle rider with a cell phone (Walk and Talk is passé, Ride and Talk Sirji) cut me off. Out of instinct, I almost ripped out a BAICHUNG BHUTIA, but controlled myself. And felt proud in the process. And Stupid too.

Around the third day, India lost a few quick wickets during a cricket match. In India if the Indian team loses quick wickets – even Indian Gods swear. [And cause earthquakes in poor clueless Indonesia) But I controlled myself. Good Boy Parab.

By the end of the week, my roommate made a good observation. He said, you are cursing in your mind every time to check yourself ! Which is more dangerous, and vile. In fact, he even wrote a doha about my thing for the week.

I agree, it is. But it sure beats saying DONALD DUCK accidentally in front of someone who might give you a job.

Lessons Learnt

The week is over. I am delighted with the knowledge that it was a week well spent. I leant self discipline, I invented alternatives to improve my language {You don’t say DUCK, you say random things like Photo Frame Falling Off)} and I introduced my friends to the possibility of a new way.

But one has to ask before signing off, is this a permanent change?

Honestly, I doubt. I have too many Excel Sheets to deal with for the rest of my life to be able to give up on my inner Swearspear. But I think, I am more aware than last week that language can be improved, even if you may leave angry friends in your wake everytime you say “Gali Nahin”

See you next week. I have a great experience and new thing to share with you.